Europe according to Denmark

I hope this goes without saying, but this is not a serious post. This is humor. 

Nevertheless, maybe an explanation is in order?

Why do the Danes think this about ……:

Iceland (Denmark's greatest fan base)

The Nordic countries have a strong bond, both in terms of culture and politics. In the past Iceland was part of the Danish Kingdom until 1944 when they became an independent nation. They learn Danish in school, which for us it a bit strange to think of. You see, we are used to having to learn other languages as Danish is pretty useless outside of our boarders. If Danish is (still) mandatory in Iceland, they must like us very much!

Faroe Islands (Still gotcha)

The Faroe Islands are still a part of the Danish Kingdom. They are also represented in the Danish parliament. 

Norway (Northern Denmark)

Again with Norway, we have a close cultural bond. The Danish and Norwegian language are, at least in writing, almost the same. For us, going to Norway is not exactly like visiting a "foreign land". It is the beautiful backyard with snow. 

Sweden (Fellow vikings)

There is no denying that we have close bond in Scandinavia. 

Finland (Say what?)

In Norway and Sweden we can understand a lot of the local language(s). Then suddenly we reach Finland and realize that their language is impossible to understand. 

Russia (Good looking girls, not so good looking guys)

My dad once said that Russian women had to care a great deal about their looks, because the competition was fierce since many men had died at war. Not sure which was he was referring to.

I keep seeing all these beautiful Russian women online and out in the world. I am sure there are many attractive men as well, but where did they go?

Baltics (Studying in Denmark)

Because of the EU, other nationalities have gained access to the educational institutions in Denmark. Since we have a large amount of English speaking programs, this attracts foreigners. 

UK (ASOS)

I think I learned about the shopping site ASOS when I was 16. I used to get together with my friends and order together (to save shipping).

Ireland (UK, right?)

Geography is complicated. Who knew Ireland was an independent nation, seriously. 

The Netherlands (Friend with weed)

Marihuana is not legal in Denmark. 

Belgium (Holland 2.0)

For us, these countries have a lot in common. 

Germany (It's complicated)
It is complicated because on the one hand, many still think of WWII and how Germany occupied Denmark. On the other hand, today we have an excellent relationship with Germany and it is one of the largest trading partners. 

Poland (Cheap labor)

It has been in the media several times that Danish employers have taken advantage of laborers from Poland. 

Czech Republic (Invaded by drunk Danish high school students)

During the winter break in February, many Danish students go to Prague for a cheap night out. 

Slovakia (new country)
Not sure if Denmark has an opinion here. It is not a popular vacation destination so that typically means that people are somewhat unaware of the country. 

Austria (After Ski)
In Denmark we love to go skiing. We also love what comes after - the drinking. In Austria there is a lot of beer (which we love) and Snaps (which we also love) and Jägertee (which some people love). Some even go “skiing” just for the drinking. One slope down and then it is time for the first beer. 

Switzerland (Rich people)

Switzerland is famous for many things. One of which is wealth. 

France (Cute accent)
Pretty self explanatory. We can admit that our own language is a bit, well, special. We can tell that French sounds better. 

Spain (Siesta all day)
The concept of siesta has never fully made it to Denmark. We don’t have the temperatures for that. I am sure that we envy it. However, it is my experience that siesta is not currently common on the Spanish labor market.  

Portugal (More siesta)

To us, Spain and Portugal are a bit similar. 

Mallorca, Spain (Invaded by Denmark is summer)

Mallorca, and Spain in general, is very popular for vacation. 

Italy (People who live with their parents far beyond what's normal)

In Denmark it is uncommon to live with one’s parents after turning 19/20 yo. Partly this is because we have quite a lot of scholarships that allows people to move out. In addition, you may receive some judgment from living at home beyond this age. It is not considered “independent” enough for Danish standards. However, this may be changing a bit these days since living costs are rising but scholarships stay the same. 

Various countries (As seen on the Eurovision song contest)

This one is interesting. There are many small European countries that we never hear much about in the Danish media. However, many of them do quite well in the Eurovision show, and THAT, they are famous for!

Bulgaria (Sunny Beach)

Another popular vacation destination. 

Romania (Dracula)

Dracula is awesome. He needs a mention. 

Greece (people with white blazers)

In Denmark people wear black. A lot of black and dark colors. On the Eurovision Song Contest we see men wearing white blazers. It baffles us. 

Turkey (trying not to offend them)

In Denmark we have many people with Turkish origins. Our cultures clash a bit from time to time. 

I hope you enjoyed the post! Leave a comment if you want to say hi or if you have a question. If you have a suggestion for another map, feel free to leave it in a comment.

Thank you for reading!